Losing A Parent In The Black Community

Truth be told we live in a world where our skin color automatically makes us a target of many things, and having both parents is a blessing to help us through. Grief is hard for everyone no matter what your ethnicity is, however with the African-American community grief can go beyond that. My mother have always educated me about racism and how to get through it and reminded me how powerful I was despite what the outside world said, same with my father. Both of my parents shielded me from all that hatred that awaited me on the outside, but with my mother and father I felt safe and untouchable because they lived through racism and knew how to deal with it. 

I lost my mother a few months ago and I was so lost, and still feel lost. Thankfully I have my father but being honest my mother was the rock of the family. Grief for me went beyond the normal grief stages since I felt like the world was really going to eat me alive. My mother was very vocal about racism, while my father on the other hand was a bit silent and always lived by the motto "to just live." 

When it comes down to the African-American community I have always noticed after a parent death we tend to go down-hill. We feel like it's nothing left to live for and we give up. It's time to stop thinking that way and to take what our parents taught us and to face the world head on. Our emotions run so deep and I know that feeling of not wanting to live and it doesn't help with the weight on our shoulders already, but we can make it. Don't isolate yourselves from your father, or your mother in vice versa. When my mom died I forgot about my father for a moment not realizing he lost the love of his life as well, and me being stubborn I lost track of that and felt so bad when I realized all we have is each-other.  Seeking help when needed is not a bad thing, and taking up a hobby is not stupid. We need to not let our emotions get the best of us, when we're already a target in this bad world. The last thing we need is to turn against ourselves. Shooting and stabbings at funerals is ridiculous, and coming together only when we die is heartbreaking. Lets not forget our parents had it rough, and the least we can do after they pass is make them proud.